A Knight and My Never

Dear Readers,
Tonight I was 100% positive on posting something completely different then what I’m about to share.
I’m sharing something personal. Vulnerable. Now, you may laugh at this if you will. For I know I plan on laughing at this in years to come but tonight, tonight I’m heartbroken.

To share a little bit about me I am a dreamer. A day dreamer. I’m a hopeless romantic. Sometimes over dramatic. Sometimes over sensitive. But, when I was 14 yrs. old I was rescued by what THEN I considered my knight in shining armor. Go ahead and laugh at that but it’s true. At 14 I had my eyes on the stars and wishing at every moment that this knight would be my story book ending.

So first let me take you back. Back to when I had just turned 14 yrs. Old. I can remember this day perfectly. It was Saturday. And the night was going to be my first church dance. Ariel and me had talked for hours the night before on what was to come, giggling and hoping to have a dance with a boy named Israel. “Oh if we could just have one dance” we said was all that was needed to make the night the night of our teenage lives.

So as the night came in and the twinkling Christmas lights were turned on, the music began to play, and I, Tierra Lynne Coleman gathered my courage. I was going to walk right up to the boy named Israel and ask him to dance. Israel was the boy everyone wanted to dance with and I was determined to get my chance. So, with the rally of girlfriends in the corner cheering me on, I took a leap of faith and walked over.
He was surrounded by friends, faces I don’t remember anymore but my eyes were set just in front of him and with every ounce of courage I had gathered I shyly but clearly said the words. “Would you like to Dance with me?” Shaking at every second, to his reply and my embarrassment was a firm “No”.

To be honest, I don’t remember what I was feeling at that moment or said. As I started to make my way back to the girlfriends and their comforting arms ….He happened…this boy whom I had never seen before came right up and grabbed my hand and asked if I would dance…with him. No other thought was given to the boy named Israel and to be honest I don’t think I’ve ever seen him since. I was rescued. Saved.

Right there in the middle of my teenage universe he became my hopeful, wish upon a star, story book ending.

Through the youth years at church we would often see each other and at every event he would always make sure to dance and chat with me. Always with a hug and always, always with a captivating smile. Sure other major crushes would come and go but it always goes back to him.

To that moment. To that hope, that someday, any day he would just see….me.

Now, as the years went by and a mission was completed he would fulfill one more saving. One more rescue in a moment, much more needed then any other in my life. We share something only the other would know the pain for, and the night of my mother’s funeral viewing, I shall never ever forget standing alone beside my mother’s coffin and greeting the huge line of guests, I saw that he was there. He came.

As I shook the hands of so many that night, trying to take myself out of the situation in order to carry on with a reassuring smile on my face that I’d be okay, he knew I was not okay. He knew my pain. He knew because he too had lost his mother when he was sixteen. And once again to the rescue, there he was at the head of the line. Pulling me aside and asking if I remembered about his mother.

It then hit me, I had just joined this unwanted club that he had already belonged to for about 6 yrs. And he knew what I was going through…

He asked if I had needed anything and if he could go and get me anything and then he hugged me as other people were waiting for my attention. As I looked over the long line still awaiting me he leaned in and said, “You can do this, take this slowly. I know what this feels like but just get through the hour, its okay to say the same thing to the next and remember I know that you can do this.” I have never shared that with anyone about our private little conversation he gave me. Nor will I ever forget it.

Now, tonight I found out that my story has another ending with some one else. Someone other then him.

For he just announced his engagement.

And yes, I am heartbroken.

Was this a silly young girl’s crush? In the beginning. Didn’t I realize that it was a major crush set up for let down? Completely. But, again theres always that hope. That wonder of...Could it be? Can it be?

So for the rest of the night I’m playing your typical heartbreak songs. And I leave you with some questions. What is your story and what was your song to get you through the night?

So now you’ve heard my story and no matter what I shall always remember him and the two moments that I will always be so thankful that it was him. For his friendship and his unfailing kindness and for being there at the right moment and the right time.