today, it seems the monthly hormones were kicked up a knotch or two. or three. i was crancky. hormonal. and my emotions were all over the place. and all i really wanted was my mom.
to the world, i'm really good at putting away my grief and not letting it show. it's been 4 years now and really (an truly) i'm okay. my life is a new normal and one that i'm happy with. but let's face it....shes gone. i don't have my mom around to tell me i'm pretty or comment on my toe nails or curl up in her bed and let her rub my head. or tell her all about a certain boy-girl friendship that just seems to be going no where. today, all i wanted was to feel pretty. and to hear it. you know, the comments only moms can tell you that you might truly believe for a second or two before rolling your eyes but deep inside you know that when she says it, it's true?
i miss her so much. i miss her voice and the look in her eye when she saw me.
my self esteem and confidence have been almost non-existent these days (boy is this a pity party!)
so, when life like this comes along...i go and do something realllly girlie.
i have never had a pedicure before and oooooh am i now spoiled. it was.....heavenly. and way ultra girlie lol a whole hour and half to massaging my legs with lotions, skin crystals, hot towels and making my toes extra cute and soft.
