When life gets you down..Get a Pedicure (No, srsly!)

today, it seems the monthly hormones were kicked up a knotch or two. or three. i was crancky. hormonal. and my emotions were all over the place. and all i really wanted was my mom.

to the world, i'm really good at putting away my grief and not letting it show. it's been 4 years now and really (an truly) i'm okay. my life is a new normal and one that i'm happy with. but let's face it....shes gone. i don't have my mom around to tell me i'm pretty or comment on my toe nails or curl up in her bed and let her rub my head. or tell her all about a certain boy-girl friendship that just seems to be going no where. today, all i wanted was to feel pretty. and to hear it. you know, the comments only moms can tell you that you might truly believe for a second or two before rolling your eyes but deep inside you know that when she says it, it's true?
i miss her so much. i miss her voice and the look in her eye when she saw me.

my self esteem and confidence have been almost non-existent these days (boy is this a pity party!)
so, when life like this comes along...i go and do something realllly girlie.
i have never had a pedicure before and oooooh am i now spoiled. it was.....heavenly. and way ultra girlie lol a whole hour and half to massaging my legs with lotions, skin crystals, hot towels and making my toes extra cute and soft.

prayers for Ruby Jane {a beautiful little fighter}

i do not know them at all. though mutual friends of friends we do have. for the last few weeks i have been following their family blog and checking everyday to see if sweet little ruby jane will finally get her new liver.

won't you please check out their family blog and read their story? the pictures of this sweet mother and her aching desire to have her baby healthy has me praying every night for their miracle. ruby jane needs a new liver. and fast. oh so very fast. please join me, and say a prayer for ruby jane.

the honest files {let's get real here}

a few weeks back a dear blog friend posted a real honest to goodness, tell it like it is post. i absolutely stood up and applauded her! i thought it was brilliant in every way. cause, really. let's be honest. our lives are not as cute and put together as our blogs look. or that post that took hours to post of how clean our cabinets are. or how beautiful that picture of such  posted of how super decorated her living room was blah blah blah. what we all don't see in such posts as those, especially if there my posts is that HUGE, gigantic pile of laundry and  undies and towels in my hallway that get left there for weeks!

so tonight, i thought it would be fun to dish out the dirt. to say what i really want to say! and as honest abe would say...always tell the truth *said with a really big grin*



first off, I LOVE TO READ HISTORICAL ROMANCE NOVELS! there, i said it. yep, that's right. you know the ones with the really sensual pictures (though a lot are not like that anymore...just sayin) on the front? i have about hundred or so of them. and love every minute of it! a dashing young man with a title in england and some wallflower young maiden standing against the wall not dancing at a ball who finally get's her chance -sighs!..... or what about the the 1500's Scottish lord who has to marry the girl in order to save his lands.....adore it! though i do for reals...make sure there not the steamy steamy ones! truth.

i only shave my legs maybe......twice a week...maybe. and i have no shame going to target or oldnavy and such in shorts or capries with my hairy legs showing if your really interested in looking!


if you ever drive with me, then you must know i have road rage. little ol' grandmas on the road....MOVE IT!
as i drive by you with my black shades on from gap with the radio blasting or my ipod on shuffle.

when it comes to comments, i really only comment if i have anything to say and i feel like it. and as for comments on my own blog....it really started to bug me that people wouldn't comment when i just new you were reading/looking.So, i knew i was contradicting my own self  and  took them off.

in the mornings, pleaaasssse for the love of all thats holy, don't speak to me! i hate chatter after i have just woken up. hate it! annnnnd never speak to me when i'm watching a tv show or you can clearly see that i'm reading something.

i can't stand it when people  have bad grammer on facebook. or do not put periods to finish a sentence.
ummm hello? that's what the red underline is for!


if your ever at my house, 85% of the time....it's a mess. i work at the hospital lonnnnng hours and so coming home around 9 or 10 pm...it's the last thing i would ever want to do. clean. so just sayin....my hallway will probably be full of piled up laundry or the living room full of books and magazines and what ever night shorts i threw under the couch. the dining room table piled with young women crafts and handouts and whatever house project i'm working on.

i'm addicted to organizing everything. everything has to have a label and a cute basket in the shelves to be placed in. and i'm being really honest. it will drive me nut's to not have my cabinets in the kitchen and bathroom organized an labeled!


and finally...tierra does indeed let some words slip out fly. ever since i was a little girl and i watched the ending scene of Rhett Butler walk out on Scarlett as he says "Frankly my dear, i just don't give a damn..." it became a lifelong goal/bucket list hopeful to say that to some one an SOOOO mean it!


well, there you have it for now! i hope you took this as fun and laughable. like you all don't have your honest secrets too! until next time.....i'm going to go finish my book (and it's NOT a romance novel...for now anway LOL) goodnight!

Church Parking Lot's at Night {justin & me} Part 2

taking leaps of faith are such a scary thing! scarrrrrry. as i stood there at the end of his car with my drink in hand that i had bought from mcdonalds...the story just came tumbling out. i told him how thanksgiving was the worst holiday i had ever spent. that i felt like he was ready to bolt at any second and how he was so stiff and silent. that i was miserable. that i was even tempted to bolt myself that embarrassing november day. i poured out how i spent the next few months crying at night wondering what had i done? what was going on inside his head. a few times the poor boy tried to get a word in edge wise and i would just hold up my hands and say
"WAIT! let me finish. i need to get this all out." and continue on.  i'm smiling right now as i'm remembering his face as he would still try to jump in every few minutes. poor guy. he didn't see a thing like that coming!


as i started to finish, he had this slightly annoyed look on his face with sheer determination to finally jump into the conversation.

 at last, he looked me straight in the eye and told me i reallllly just didnt know him.

 that hurt. really hurt. stung you might could say.

he said that if i did, then i should have come to him sooner. even the very day after thanksgiving. that his thought process for that day was to be on his best behavior. not his loud, flirty, sometimes obnoxious self. that he didn't want to embarrass me. that he had heard how my family liked to pick on me being the single one and that he didn't want to do or say anything to cause me embarrassment."ooooh justin, if you would have just been your true self for just ten minutes....TEN MINUTES! everything would have been SOOOO much better" i exclaimed!


"Tierra, you have one MAJOR wall up too you know! because i had NO idea that this was how you felt. Your poker face is rock solid." he countered back.

we went over everything. every little detail. I had told myself that this was it and we were going to lay this all out on the table. except for one teeny weenie minor detail..... that i just happen to semi sorta, well maybe...like him.

i left that part out.


as the night went on we were there from 9:30 pm till Midnight. Just him and me. It felt so liberating.
but at the same time, so mind numbing bad. knowing that i just couldn't bring myself to let out anymore.

i told him how i felt like i had lost a really good friend.that at the end of the day, that had been the worst part.

after everything was said about thanksgiving, he told me that he just HAD to make all this back up to me. So, we decided on two things:

1) *laughing majorly over this one* justin has to come with me to the Breaking Dawn midnight premiere in november ANNND wear whatever "team edward" tshirt i want + a team edward bracelet. Bahahahahahahahaha! and side note: he suggested this!!!!!!

last year it took me TWO hours just to talk him into to seeing the last twilight movie. Take that sucka!

and 2) he's coming to my families christmas eve party. on that one, well...let's just say if i thought i was nervous about how thanksgiving was going to go last year ....this will take my nerves to a whole new level. and he also came up with this idea as well.

we sealed it with a pinkie promise. (yep...this boy pinkie promises lol)

from that point on in the conversation we went to a little of everything. his plans. his insecurities. mine as well. from talking about his mission and things to come. our jobs and long working hours. a lot more on how closed up i can be. to us flirting.

i knew it was getting pretty late. and  much to his jerky statement previous, i do know him. so well that he would have stayed with me all night and let me (us) just keep talking away. so i did what i always do.

let the boy have his exit.

as i stretched up for a hug (justin's 6'3 and as you all know...i'm a shorite) i told him straight in the eyes that i just could not loose him again. that i did NOT want for things to be weird between us.

he looked straight back and told me i would never loose him.

GAHHHH! ladies!  that's when it sucked! it sucked because i will be loosing him. he is leaving.

THE DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS for the not-so-cool BYU Idaho! that means when he comes to Christmas Eve...that will be our last time seeing each other. Merry merry christmas tierra.

well, i told ya this story had a good ending. and to that night, it did.

I got my friend back with everything out in the open ...except for...well, you know!

i wish i could tell ya that we ended up together. that we smooched the rest of the night away LOLOL though id be willing to bet my bishop would not have approved on that last part so its a good thing we didnt :)

so really an truly, the ending is ....i just don't know. The end.

PS. all of you can do me a big fat favor though if you ever see me around at church with a really tall good looking guy and tell him to get with the program!